Funny Philippines » Rated: green http://funnyphilippines.com Your web-based tissue paper Sat, 04 Sep 2010 16:00:53 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.8.4 en hourly 1 ELMO http://funnyphilippines.com/elmo/ http://funnyphilippines.com/elmo/#comments Thu, 05 Aug 2010 21:42:00 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=554

Bagong kasal nasa honeymoon …

Wife: Hon, bakit maliit ang bird mo? May nakatatak pa na ELMO.
Husband: Maliit ha, sige galitin mo?

… at ginalit nga ng wife, nagulat

Wife: Shit! EL filibusterisMO!

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/elmo/feed/ 0 Supot pride http://funnyphilippines.com/supot-pride/ http://funnyphilippines.com/supot-pride/#comments Tue, 03 Aug 2010 11:34:37 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=551

supot pride

“Pasukan na! Paano naman kami?”

“Supot Kami”

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TB – Text Back

TT – Text Tayo

TTLAKI – Text Tayo Later AKo Intay

KKLIIT – Kuripot Ka, Lagi Intay Ikaw Text

PUKIMO – Pag Uwi Ko I-text Mo ko, Okey?

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/text-messaging-shortcuts/feed/ 0 Pinoy style condoms http://funnyphilippines.com/pinoy-style-condoms/ http://funnyphilippines.com/pinoy-style-condoms/#comments Sat, 24 Apr 2010 16:00:38 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=508

Cali condom – taste 10, feel 10;

PLDT condom: touching lives;

Rexona condom: won’t let you down;

PAL condom: we apologize for the delay!

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/pinoy-style-condoms/feed/ 0 Ngongo http://funnyphilippines.com/ngongo/ http://funnyphilippines.com/ngongo/#comments Sat, 10 Apr 2010 16:00:05 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=489

NANAY: Anak, sabihin mo nga sa tatay mo na hilutin niya ako!

ANAK: Tay, tabi ni inay iyutin mo daw tya!

AMA: Anak, sabihin mo sa nanay mo wala ako sa mood!

ANAK: Nay, tabi ni itay wala daw tya tamod!

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/ngongo/feed/ 0 Beggar http://funnyphilippines.com/beggar/ http://funnyphilippines.com/beggar/#comments Thu, 08 Apr 2010 16:00:32 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=487

There was a beggar eating rice w/ salt under the Ortigas flyover when a big, red ant bit his balls. Angrily, he crushed the ant with his hand and said, “ako nga asin lang ang ulam ko, ikaw paitlog-itlog pa!”

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/beggar/feed/ 0 Mahilig http://funnyphilippines.com/mahilig/ http://funnyphilippines.com/mahilig/#comments Tue, 06 Apr 2010 16:00:11 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=484

MAN: Hello! ano pangalan mo miss?

GIRL: Carmen! kasi mahilig ako sa “CAR” at saka sa “MEN” Ikaw, ano name mo?

MAN: Pepe! kasi mahilig din ako eh!!

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/mahilig/feed/ 0 Sexual Harassment http://funnyphilippines.com/sexual-harassment/ http://funnyphilippines.com/sexual-harassment/#comments Sun, 04 Apr 2010 16:00:20 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=482

Sa isang opisina ng isang malaking kompanya sa Makati

“Hmmmmmm ang bango ng buhok mo”, puri ng isang empleyado sa isang empleyada.

Ang empleyada nagalit at nagsumbong sa Manager: “Gusto ko pong kasuhan ng Sexual Harassment iyong isa po nating empleyado” at ikinuwento ng empleyada ang nangyari.

Ang Manager nagtataka nagtanong: “Ang ibig mong sabihin, gusto mong magsampa ng demanda dahil pinuri ka ng isa nating empleyado na mabango ang buhok mo?”

“Ganoon na nga po.”

“Eh, wala naman akong nakikitang masama doon ah, at dapat ka pa ngang matuwa”

“Pero Sir, iyong empleyado po ay… UNANO”

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/sexual-harassment/feed/ 0 Galit si nanay http://funnyphilippines.com/galit-si-nanay/ http://funnyphilippines.com/galit-si-nanay/#comments Fri, 02 Apr 2010 16:00:43 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=480

ANAK: Inay, si ate hinahalikan ng boyfriend niya!

INA: Okey lang yan anak!

ANAK: Inay, ang suso ni ate hinahawakan ng BF niya!

INA: Okey lang yan anak!

ANAK: Inay, si ate pini-finger ng BF niya!

INA: Punyeta! diyan ako galit ! may titi naman bakit di gamitin eh!!

]]> http://funnyphilippines.com/galit-si-nanay/feed/ 0 Parking ticket http://funnyphilippines.com/parking-ticket/ http://funnyphilippines.com/parking-ticket/#comments Wed, 31 Mar 2010 16:00:28 +0000 Ate Glow http://funnyphilippines.com/?p=478

A Filipino was arrested in San Francisco for illegal parking. He was angry. He said to the police, “Why you give me a facking ticket? I only facked here por payb minutes!

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